how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
