I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
