Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
