I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
