I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
