that's an acceptable place to lick
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
