dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
