Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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