she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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