i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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