how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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