I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
