I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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