No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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