Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
