Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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