yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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