dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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