Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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