too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
