these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
