Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
