Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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