Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
