You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
