I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
