If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
