i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
