i barfeds in our rink
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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