i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
