She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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