I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
