I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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