Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
