OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
