last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
