They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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