I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
