good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
its liver damage thursday
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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