do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
