I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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