Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
