he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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