if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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