So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
