I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
