i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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