2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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