I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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