9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
