party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
