Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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