i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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