Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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