Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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